Ok, ladies. Let’s get serious here. We aren’t living in the 50-60’s anymore. When I started my company, the majority of my business owners were men and now it’s easily a 50-50 split...
In fact, I have many female clients that are the breadwinner or the sole breadwinner of the family, and more and more men are staying at home – not a majority by any means, but there is definitely a shift going on.
What I am finding is that a lot of women are complaining about finances, particularly when they are living with someone and they are not engaged or married. What I am hearing from these woman across the board is that they expect the man to continue to pay for everything, so that they can save their money or buy things for themselves.
This of course is not logical for the man, but we have yet another problem in our society nowadays.
Men are overspending as badly as women on a global scale and there are so many people in denial about this that it’s causing more and more relationship turmoil.
In addition we have a lot of women who are very independent and don’t even want to have the door opened for them. I hear this very frequently from the Gen Y generation in particular. In fact, one Gen Y that I was talking to actually works as a valet and still has woman tell him they don’t want the door opened for them!
Back to the issue of household income, what’s the solution?
First and foremost you need to have an agreement on finances BEFORE you move in, because if you don’t, then about six months into you will have problems and it will almost always be related to the interpretation of the agreement.
Just like my video on partnerships, you must firmly understand each other’s interpretation of the financial split and the best way to do this is both in writing and verbally repeating it to each other. Before you get excited about your new found love, make sure you know who is paying what.
Next, ladies, it’s not realistic to keep all your money hoarded in the bank or spending it at the mall while the man, who is in many cases making the same or less than you, pays the bills. Sure, it sounds great, and we would all like to have it, and some people do have it, but it doesn’t work anymore a great deal of the time, and it causes problems in the relationship due to the equality of income between men and woman nowadays and the independence of women.
If you are a stay at home Mom or your agreement with your significant other is that your “job” is to take care of your spouse, then that of course, is what is working for you and that’s fine. But if the agreement is to split bills, then I suggest a joint account that you both put equal amounts into or equal percentages and that account is ONLY used to pay the basic household bills.
The rest you each have in your own account to spend as you wish. This truly works every time and allows everyone their own personal spending.
Let me know what kind of issues come up in your household, and what you may need help on and #AskHolly will address them next week.